Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I Had A Dream Of Singing Love

I had a dream the other night. I don't recall the details, just the end. The dream was going on with me and others doing something, trying to get something done. Then there was, I think, a picture of a bunch of big brown birds like owls - then it was not a picture but an actual bunch of owl-like birds all perching on a wall or a window or something crowded together – moving and fluffing and shuffling around. Then they all started fighting and then they were eagles attacking each other – wings, talons, beaks, angry screams.

My recollection was that whatever we humans had been doing had turned acrimonious and then the birds started fighting. But everything was erupting in anger and violence. I don't know if I just thought or if I yelled out to whoever was around, "The eagles are fighting!!"

But the mayhem was drowning me out. The thought came to me that I knew what needed to be done, an impulse that just rushed through my mind and heart compelling me. I began yelling louder and louder "I love you" over and over to all the fighting screaming people and birds.

In dreams I can raise my voice to really forceful levels. I invest it with all the intensity of my will and passion and soul. I project it with all the force of my being so that it reaches the farthest corners of the universe and even crash the gates of heaven itself. I have only used this intense inner voice a few times. Sometimes I have used it in my waking conscious state through my imagination when I am extraordinarily distressed. But when I do it in my dreams it really feels like I’m actually doing it. I was yelling so that my voice would be louder than all the conflict all over the world, so they would have to hear me over the din.

In my dreams I can also fly. In this dream as I was screaming with all my will and longing, “I love you”, “I love you”, “I love you” I realized I needed to elevate above the fray to shout down over all the fighting people and birds. I didn't fly but just rose up above the earth calling out over and over "I love you", filling everything with the force of my love, flinging it out with all my heart and soul and life energy.

And then I began to hear other voices singing from all different parts of the sky and earth "I love you"
"I love you" "I love you" All these voices were joining me. They were not shouting, they were singing. And I began to sing with them. The sound of our voices singing began to weave together like a web of singing covering the earth. And we sang and sang and sang. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” It spread out enveloping the sound of fighting, until only the sound of our singing could be heard.

And then I woke up

The harshness of the world, the meanness, the violence (physical, emotional, psychological, economic, social) really breaks my heart so much so often. The stigmatization of others, the exploitation of the powerless, the unregulated pursuit of self interest at the expense of others. It all is like a weight of sadness that climbs into my mind and sits there crying.

There are many I know who stand in witness, who struggle for kindness, who invest themselves in solving these insoluble differences that tear us apart. But it seems to my heart that all the efforts make so little real change. So we devise new methods, new ways of talking and seeing and working. And there is a slight change here or there. Yet the fighting continues.

But when I woke from this dream I felt that immense wave of voices around me, above, below, stretching out
in all directions, singing out love. My weary heart had been transported to that place above the pain where there are those raining love on all. All the sounds of anger, hostility, and bitterness were covered by the sound of our singing together with all our hearts “I love you, I love you, I love you” and raining, propelling it over all. We who were singing were not distinguishing between the mean and the kind, between the generous and the abusive. We were embracing all together in our insistent singing of this love that embraces all. Sending out waves of love toward all who are angry and hurt and just trying to seek their own wellbeing in their own way.

There is a love that we all desire, that envelops us in wellbeing, fills our spirits with a magnificent hope and gratitude. We long for that love that sees us, cares for us, understands us. When we are loved we feel love in return and we experience our purest self when we allow this love to flow from our hearts to the lives and hearts of those around us. When we allow the love within us to give that seeing, that caring, that understanding to others, we become our true selves. We want to grasp this love and hold it to our aching hearts, warm our souls in its glow. It heals our wounds and blows away the darkness from our minds; it empowers and strengthens. Love brings something magical and wonderful into our lives.

And we can join these, our own individual small loves, together in this singing into the darkness of the night. What other purpose could life hold?